Life Splinters

Like when you write story ideas- with my poems, I write ‘draft’ poems and will hopefully go back and sort it all out. This poem below is a draft, the idea. Need to sort out the conceit  (extended metaphor) of the table as life. Here is my first go 🙂

Life splinters 

slowly like a table

I had for years. 

A creak in the middle.

Ready to break 

time providing energy.

A set amount 

needed for it to snap. 

 

 

(the creak might not fit in- what do you think? There is no right and wrong- but I want it to make some sense.)

Advertisements

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Hello – I like this. I think it’s good to put down a poem in draft, and brave too! I like the idea of the ‘creak’ in the middle – where a ‘crack’ might be. I like the word ‘snap’ at the end too – which also suggests ‘sap’ – maybe there could be a place for sap at the start – youth / young wood.

    1. 🙂 I love the idea of sap- could fit it in “I had for years/ from sap to the crack/ A creak in the middle.” still work in progress, need to add life cycle analogues with the tree.Thanks given me ideas to hopefully, eventually finish it.

  2. Gregory McCann says:

    Yeah, I always end up changing everything when I redraft stuff, in fact the it’s almost unrecognisable by the end after all the redrafting. Anyway, I like the creak. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s